BITE ME ......

the government is all buggered up ..PGMA is still a short ass korrupt bitch with buck teeth ... and the rest of the politicians are goin to hell ... ... and the military is gonna blow everything up... and well all be in the friggin crapper *sacrastic applause* ...something good better come outta this crap . or I'll blow up Malacanang Myself!!!

+Harvest+

Throughout this year ...all i have been doing is helping my friends with their "problems" and giving them adivce..etc.... i also noticed i didnt really give enough time for myslef ... i let my own life go into a downward spiral ...Until about a month ago .. I couldnt beleive that my life was quite unfair .. i gave and helped ... well..i honestly tried my best to help people. butt all i got in return was .. a big fat ... nothing ...for a while my motto went back to ... "Lifes a bitch then, you die"(used previously") ... "positive" aint it ?! My mind was always noisy ...i was always exauhsted.. and sleepless....and that dosent really include the stress from schoolwork!! erg....Highschools a real bitch ... especuially that my friends have graduated T__T and I am left to scurry among the pools of people who dont really unserstand meh ... i think some of them were actually scared of me .. ?!? whaaa??.... okay ... *ehem* back to the point ... CSA is a total HelLHolE!! *ehem*I have no sense of belongingness there at all .........-__-'

yeah ...a few weeks before .. i felt things were getting lighter .. I made lots of new friends (Zlackers still the BesT tho') ... who at least tried to understand me .. aeheh ... (forgiveable...I hardly understand myslef anyway) I felt my heart got a lot less heavy.. i wasnt as angry as i was before ... and it seemed that the help i have given to my friends was reciprocating... ^__^....
and also ....someone Ive been interested in is my squeeeshy feesh now!!! nyahahahah alhough my grades are still kind of ... errr.. down there ... the other aspects of my life are all bright and happy hence the bright and happy art ...*gleeeee* .....^______^

+=My Pillow=+

Since i was a child .. I have always had plenty of pillows on my bed .. up until now .. I beleive I have 1...2..3.... errrr...16 pillows on my bed..... i always found myslef starving for something to hug .....But now not so much ... I usually just shove most of my pillows to one side of my bed... why?? cuz .... I already found something ..*ehem* someONE worth huggin ...<3 and i could never be HAPPIER .....
Your my squeeshy Fish Pillow ahehehe .... *huuuuuuuuuug*......
^_________^

.*+=Chunky Mcgothgurl Presentz=+*.

"Killing Loneliness"
Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Nailed to the cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the night, forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are sent to start a war

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Killing loneliness

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me

This is my fave song .....which i think everyone else i know DISlikes ...../pff...
Moany??!?!wtf? Moany!??!?!*anger* ...argh...
aheheh
hehe ..... and the pic is the pic i gave to DANIEL haha...tacke care o that i worked my [] butt off just to make that for you...ahhehehe .....<3

Anyway ... Im bored to DEATH here at home so i shall tell you about
CHUNKY MC GOTHURLZ ADVENTUOROUS ADVENTURES in HER LAMEASS JaIL OF A SCHOOL....

THere she was staring at the clock....not wanting to go to school.... she crawls out of her bed ...and drags her feet to the bathroom...she returns to her room and lovingly stares at her bed ... full of soft comfy pillows she sleeps in .... and yet ...*sigh* she puts on her latest outfit (rockin' may i add) and waits for her brother....she collects all her makeup black nailpolish and other things "needed" for the day .... she leaves for school......reminded by a sweet song .... she texts someone ... "hehe g'mornin B4 your class starts.^_^ mis u!" it was for jason ...she looks up sees the raod infront of her and stares endlessly at the gray pavement ... ignoring everything else but her thoughts ..she arrives at CSA ... the (must i keep calling it a school ?? its a jail for the youth ) she wanders into the jungle of people ... and catches a veiw of her friends ..."Zero Divide" her friends were to perform,a few songs...she assisted with the makeup and nails ...

after the show.. tho she enjoyed and watched... cheered and enjoyed ."you guys got better"she said to themd she still felt that something was missing ....she decided to shrug the feeling and wandered around the school again ...she found her other group of friends .... also aimlessly wandering around the campus *ehem* "jail" They went to the feild scramed like crazy and had fun^^ .....although

there were also bad points of the day.....drama once again .... from a couple she knows.....
but she discarded the emotion and the thoughts of helping ...."it wont help"
she thought to herslef........
after a few hours of boredom ... she went home .. and is writing this blog now .. haha ..... Pardon me for my horrible writing i aint making it my career anyway nyahahaha ....^_______^

*=THE DIZZEH ONES= *

Eurostar carnival ... heheh pretty small place and the rides look pretty simple ... but dont ever judge things from the way they look...haha....i did end almost ended up "retreiving" the fries i ate earlier....So did my brother Beli and Jason...ahaha...after the first ride we found oursleves looking fo rthe nearest bench to take a breather....i think the only calm ride there besides the kiddie rides is the Ferris Wheel ...^^... love that ride aheheh ... ^__^ okay ... ehem...anyway... we took a break form the dizzy rides and went to beat up Jason at the bump cars!! ...aheheh ....soo much fun to pick on him!! aheheh *peace* ^^and after that we decided to ride "flipper" when the whole ride tips to one side and basically turns your GutZ into Knotz ...
haha....Me and Jason rode the Wheel agen.. but this time it scared me ... because .. earlier the ride didnt take long.. this time it was waaaaaaaaay longer....scary for me cuz i dont really trust machines(*ehem* yung mga umalis ng Cora jan *ehem* \m/ magick reigns supreme!! wahahaha tama bah??!?!? tgal na ko di naglalaro eh .^^' ) and yeah ... just scary aheheh ^^'.....

OH YEAH dont forget the best ride ever!!! .... JOkeR !!! everyone has to ride that one!!! Omg .... aheheh ..... i love the veiw ..and the flipping and the spinning and the omigod im gonna die up here feeling ....argh!! soo kool...
aheheh
anyway ....
Eurostar is pretty kool...the entrance fee ain so bad either ... just the things you buy in it are HELLA exspensive !! aheheh ...
My suggestion:if your planning to go make sure to bring friends if you have any .../gg
and a CAMERA its not just the rides that are fun, the look on your friends faces after the ride is pretty good entertainment as well aheheh ^______^

Oh by the way ..
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODEH!! ^_^

<3 you

+=Vaccine=+

Killing loneliness by H.I.M. My favorite band !!! woot* check em out if you gotz time ..hehehanyway I was litening to this song and I felt soo ...... HAPPY .....its kinda odd
writing bout this cause of my previous post ..^^' but this is how i feel ...so piss off!!

SO...since I was in my sophomore year I pretty much felt like I was alone ......not alone as in friendless ...alone as in alone ...like I was left behind.....for example my "barkada" would be laughing their heads off and I would ..errr be moping or at least pretending to laugh.....
Somehow i felt like there was always something missing like a big big BIG chunk of me was missing,I coldnt understand, I had FabuLouS friends and fairly good grades and my family didnt do so bad that year .....but the void was just there ...haunting me ....floating above my brainless head ....and taunting me ......
so if you knew me last year I was probably distant,angry and agressive
and seemed most likely to kill herslef or anyone! bwahahahah (just kidding)

*ehem* Loneliness was my disease ...which I thought was uncureable....
everyday Id complain ...why do I feel this way ....
ad everytime Id see a couple ...weel couples my age .....I just got more angry....
I took me a while to find out I just needed someone to Kill this disease In me ....hahah
Love is the Vaccine for loneliness.........
though I DO have someone in mind,but... Im still thinking bout it .......^-^
hahahah anyway hte point is ....that feeling is gone .... not just because i got someone to hug .....^^
its everything ...I have great friends we have tons of fun ....my art block is UNblocking..hahah
and proms coming up !!! wooooooo!!!! and i ve got plenty of clients for my art thing ..heee heeee ...
OOOOH!!! and also I just won a contest ...at deviant art.com ...
I won a months free subscription!!! I know this dosent really make sense to most of you but I WOOOOOOOOON!!!! wooooo.......

oh yeah ..commets on the pic ."oscar" the doll is asking the heart if it can make him happy
....the heart answers NO DUH!!~!
heheh ...enjoy ...^^