+One Labotomy please+

LABOTOMY ...
(educate before i whine XD)

Surgery performed between 1900 and 1950 to cure mental illness of all types. The "Ice Pick Method", perfected by a Dr. Freeman, involved hammering an ice-pick type tool into the tear ducts of the eye, going through bone, and inserting the tool several inches into the frontal lobe of the brain. This was repeated several times in each eyelid.

The results of the surgery ranged from death to better than before the surgery - there were no real successes. The frontal lobe controls emotions and ambitions, and many patients who received labotomies would be quiet and have very flat personalities.

The labotomy has been discredited, less than 20 surgeries each year are performed on the brain to battle mental illness, and most of those surgeries are on patients with Parkinsons disease, to control their convulsions.

The labotomy was performed on all types of physcologically disturbed people.

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Sleeping was such a beautiful thing to do ... 8 or more hours of random images and colours a sweet escape from everything in the "real world" ... id like to emphasise my use of the past tense "was". because even now in my sleep i cannot rest ... a hurricane of short replays of my worst days...or faling off impossibly high cliffs,being the sacrificial rat for a bloodthirsty thunder God,being turned into a horrid looking chocolate bunny ... or drinking galons of acid while inside a burning house and my skin ripping from too much fat .. all these tings do NOT make me happy.my week becomes: school -> horrid dreams-> wake up exhausted ->then back to school .... all of these things in my dreams mean something ... and trying to figure them all out while nOT being properly rested ... is taking its toll on me ... ive been trying to relate these things to whats happening in my life at the moment ...and none of which seem to make any sense ...

Even He is in my dreams .... i think its because of this overwhelming guilt im feeling, for ending it...
thee are times when if feel like my chest is so heavy that my backs going to break...i cannot tell you or anyone how im feeling, at the moment. I had drawings of them,but i gave them away ...even if i did try most of you would not understand ... bec. im going through someting most people dont even need to go through...still no apparent relation to my dreams...these things ... theyre driving me insane... someone plase give me a labotomy... DX


but i guess such situations are good, in a way ...
there is usually a reward at the end of a difficult task ...
no pain no pleasure ..~?~?~?

DAKILA!

GO SENIORS!!! LURV ALL AROUND!!!

Little boy box and self mutilation

I FINALLY got my tongue peirced. after all those years of waiting its so liberating!! haha ..but shhhhh... my parents dont know.. tee hee ...Its insane!! I like how it looks I like having something to play around with in my mouth. I like that i have another acessory to play with... i just love it!
when after its completely healed im gonna name it then marry it!! hahah ... i think bertha is a gewd name ahahah .. =P

AbOuT Th3 PoEm!!
I wrote this in my journal out of boredom and my weird crazy mind thoughts ... or maybe I was high on air then...or extremely Emo about God knows what haha... anyway these tiny little poems seem to sprout out of my head during reaaaally boring math lessons....This was supposed to come with small illustrations (which wouldve made the whole thing easier to understand) but my scanner is still broken *sigh*. and I'm still checking if the older scanner thats been collecting dust on our top shelf still works.
anyway . its weird but it plays out well in my head .... so bleh! =P

*Little boy box*

Little boy box all hollow inside , he needed a heart , so i did provide.
I gave him a smile, eyes made of glass,
and a part of my heart beting steady but fast.

Happy was he,for he could see,
the one who loved him ,
that one was me.
We danced and we kissed with his cardboard lips,
till i slowly felt my own heart tilt.

"could he love me on his own?" i asked myslef,
and went to see him on his wooden shelf.

inside him i saw my heart beating free.
I said "this cannot be
this tiny heart came from me"
"His love isnt genuine it cannot be true
if he had little of my heart would it not be loving me too?"

i weeped and sobbed, i could finally see,
that little boy box could never love me.
my tears filled the room ,till it flooded then i stopped.
and noticed little boy box all sogged up ...

There was nothing left, just my heart,
there was no life, there was no breath,
just my silence and his death

+This In Your Misery+

One so clean and innocent at births time ,
flooded with dreams,colours,
and a vision of life naive.
with beauty and amazement in every flower,
and sheer fascination with icons of power.

A few years passed,the time has come .
for the earth to poison its own son.
His first heartfelt tears fall
while others drunk on sorrow, take no notice.

A decade or so the heart strikes fast,
He falls in love and it is broken at the last.
his life flys by his heart gone insane ,
from the pain of loneliness
he could not escape.

This i have no idea what it is . all i know i wrote it during our physics class. i couldnt understand a single thing coming out of that womans mouth. buti didnt want to fall asleep in class , so i doodled. doodles led to ideas, ideas lead to long questions and so on . ahehe . whateva.
ahehe ...
im very insecure about my poetry but i kind of want to share it soooo... just go easy on the critique when your going to comment on this entry ahahah...

Am feeling a bit thrown away , because i am not asked to design and do art crap in school as much as i was before... maybe because theres a VA (visual arts) class in school and they found out the drawings that i make are fucking easy to make ahaha.

i dont know if its just me feeling anwanted or unneeded but, I am starting to loose confidence in my art again.I just dont feel like drawing anymore. unless I'm realy down or angry .
but everytime I start a peice it never gets finished. There are so many unfinished peices scattered in my room. i mean am i loosing my touch or something? ahheeheh...

maybe I just need something or someone to inspire me ...
ive been lacking a great deal of spirit lately . the only things helping me move on are coffe and giant helpings of sugar .... ahah.


hmm...things better be lookin up soon ... or else someones gonna loose a head. ahah ....

+holy fish grease+

i feel like screaming all the time now, cuz of the stress from skool.im a little sad now since my visual arts Prof. said that he expected better from me ...i did of myself as well ... we made a small mock-up of a figure he drew on the board and mine didnt look so hot...DX
and that hardly encourages me to enter that jewelry design contest he asked me to join ...

i volunteered to help design the yearbook like an assistant for one of the people in charge ... but then i ended up drawing designs for every section of the committee, and thats a lot o work since the teacher in charge of everything is sooo meticulous about it ... so im usually told to draw three or four diff designs every other day... and that comes along with all the quizzes and homeworks projects and college applications and write ups and lots of other things ... Whew ... i wish i could stop the world for just two days,to get my head straight ... ahahha

+Little Emo EnoiD+

*Bittersweet*

Three little words can start it all,

Three little words will destroy it all

Hearts little tune, silenced by the fall,

One heavy note to destroy the soul

Bliss in the rise, hell in the fall

Strength to proceed seems impossible

Sorrow in still, death in life

One hearts lie

Stark, broken in light.

*Poison Preistess*

Woe is the man who earns my ire

What poisons bubble beneath my breath

The blackest of fire burns in my chest

The one who fools me shall be followed by death

Silent but grim, his death slowly comes

In dark and shadows revealed,

Seen with glass eyes,

With a scream of shrill silence

Thickens his blood with cold.

+insanity is you friend? +

Dope Crazy lyrics

Dope Crazy lyrics

Are you looking
Are you laughing at me
Are you reminiscing
Do you remember me
Try how I try to keep it inside
Crazy
You wouldn't talk to me
You shut the door on me
You left me there standing
Do you remember me
Try how I try to keep it inside
Crazy
I'm not going crazy
Show me I don't see
Help me cause I can't breath
Drowning I'm in too deep
Help me I know that
I'm not going crazy
Are you rejoicing about my decease
Is he looking does he look like me
No
I'm not going crazy


"Dope" awsome band i just discovered through revolver magazine
ive been listening to this song over and over. ahaha .. i guess its helping me hang on to whatever sanity i have left ... i guess cuz im runnin outta decentpeople to talk to .... im hardly evr in the same frequency as any of my friends .. ahaha ... so yeah .. im giving up "talking" alltogether .....
haha...everyones on a need to know basis now...although i do miss having a bestfriend ... ahaha ...

okay anyway this piece (above) is pretty much how ive been feeling for a while ... drew it round summer time and just coloured it yesterday... the sybolism in it is kind of on a shallow plane of thought ...but still ehem im bored ryt now so ill explain it to you feeble minded maggots ... XD

the whole jester theme is kinda obvious, its me feeling shallow and fake,disrespected etc.
the blue and the purple in the hat broken by yellow lines is my "struggle" to find peace and spirituality, but violently disrupted by "earthly" troubles..
The skin color is about greed,envy,inner decay....the teeth = anger ,violence,slef hatred etc....
the ears symbolise me listening to the people around me
and the tongue pulled out sybolizes words/advice etc. taken for granted blah blah....
the left eye (bruised) shows a bit of sanity humanity i have left ... but stil hurt ... ahha...
the other eye is just plain insanity ... aheehe...
i hope you enjoy if youd like to see more of my work please click the link on the side
"CHUNKY ART" thankz !